I Have No Life! 16 Ways to Get a Life

There is perhaps one self-put down that can damage us more than we can know: “I have no life.” As soon as you utter those words, you in some sense resign yourself to that fate. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, and even when it has no real meaning, it takes on a life of its own. It’s too easy to use that as excuse to mope. But if you’re looking for true change, if you’re looking to ‘get a life,’ you need to do it systematically. Doing the things you always have done, or simply waiting around for ‘luck’ or ‘fortune’ or destiny or some such will just leave you with what you have had. Instead, take control of your life. Here are the steps, the foundation, the sixteen ways to get a life that is worth living FOR YOU, not for others. Follow some or all of these ways and you’ll be on a path towards happiness and self-fulfillment:

  1. First things first – we say “I have no friends and no life” without a thought as to what that means. What does it mean to say “I have no life”? Ultimately, that’s shorthand for something else, and that something else is going to differ from person to person. For some people, having a life will mean hanging out with tons of friends, going to parties, and enjoying fun social events and adventures. For others, however, having a life means having deep relationships, reflective moments, access to fun and enriching hobbies and education. For some, it could be a mixture of both general poles, from the extroverted to the introverted. It’s your job to figure out what ‘getting a life’ means before you can get one.
  2. To this end, get a piece of paper and sketch out your ideal life. Who do you know? What do you do every day? What are your goals? Who do you associate with? What are your aspirations? How do you feel? What do you have in terms of money and possessions? You need to be clear on what you want, not what society tells you.
  3. Look at your sketch and begin creating a plan to tackle all of those areas. You can generally divide them into four categories: physical, professional, social, and spiritual. Of course, you can come up with more categories.
  4. Next, create a hierarchy of those categories. For some, the social goals may be more important than physical; for others, spiritual goals take precedence over professional. Whatever your hierarchy, make sure you know what you want to focus on first.
  5. Only tackle one category at a time. Don’t be an ambitious failure – be a consistent and steady goal completer, even when those goals are incremental and small.
  6. In terms of the physical – work out, lose weight, eat right, and take care of your appearance and hygiene. These are the foundations of a life – they signal to others that you are part of the ‘gang’ in terms of what’s considered ‘normal.’ Don’t do things arbitrarily, of course – always understand the reasoning behind what you do, including your physical appearance and feelings.
  7. Next, the professional. Have ambition to do something. Find your dreams and work towards them. Whether that’s opening your own business, starting a great job, or meeting other professional goals, you need to have some external thing to set your mind to. If you need to go back to school, do it; quit your job, do it; take a risk, absolutely do it. This is the only life you live.
  8. Some problems are easier to solve than others – so it goes with the social category. We are wired to be social, and we just have to let that natural tendency out. If you say to yourself, “I have no social life,” then you simply have to go out more and make new friends. By “simply” we mean that the steps are relatively simple – it’s the repetition and commitment to find a good circle of friends that’s the hard part. Find people who share your interests, and hang out where they do. Clubs, organizations, sports teams, and the like are great places to start. Meeting friends through the recommendation of other friends is perhaps the best way. You can also try meeting friends online, as this has become popular recently.
  9. Get hobbies, or something else you can direct your attention to. I’ve written another article on how to find a hobby here. If video games and TV are your thing, that’s fine, but make sure you do something creative and active. You’ll find that your self-worth and self-esteem will improve when you become more externally directed.
  10. Improve your spiritual life if this component is important to you. Go to religious services, volunteer in organizations, and donate your time and talent. This will give you access to another level of power beyond yourself.
  11. Get professional help. You might be ill or depressed. Some problems cannot be handled by yourself, so you might need a doctor or a therapist to help you out.
  12. Get a mentor, someone who understands who you are and what you need. This may be a family member, a friend, or a trusted advisor.
  13. Read self help and self improvement books to give you further ideas. There are literally thousands on the market, all tailored to different situations, so take some time – weeks, months, or even years – to really learn this field and understand how to improve yourself.
  14. Work to constantly improve yourself in every area. It’s all about constant progress and incremental improvement. If you start today, how great will you be in a year? Five years? Ten?
  15. Ultimately, you need to understand yourself and your interests and values. If you don’t, how will you know what will satisfy you in life?
  16. Don’t give up! This life is the only one you’ve got, so make the most of it!

Have any more ways? Leave them in the comments!

Welcome to Ways To Improve!

From http://www.freefoto.com/preview/104-17-8216?ffid=104-17-8216.Hello and welcome to waystoimprove.net! This site contains tons of advice in a variety of categories, all geared to improving your life in some way.

Why have we organized this content into “ways”? We believe in action, but we also believe in having concrete steps in order to guide that action. We also understand that having too much information may be as useless as having not enough.

Thus, our goal is to provide you with the quickest and most effective  “ways”  to meet your goals. Whether you want to get in shape, make money, or embark on some self improvement goal, our ‘ways’ will both give you the information you need to know and the steps you need to take to meet your goals.

How should I use this site?

There are a few ways to browse the content. The best way is to bookmark our site and come back often, as we are constantly adding new content, both to posts we’ve already written and in the form of new posts. You can also browse categories (shown in the sidebar to the left) such as “Health & Fitness” and “Money & Finance” for directories about the posts on this site. Finally, you can skim the ‘Related Posts” widget in the sidebar for the latest posts we’ve added.

Come back often, as this site is a perpetual work in progress. We hope to create a database of actionable information for you that will be helpful whatever your goals.

OUR BEST POSTS

First, check out the webbook in the sidebar to the left – it’s a great book about how to conquer procrastination and get everything you want out of life.

In addition, here’s a list of some of our most popular posts. Enjoy!

I Need 2000 Dollars Fast!

I Need 3000 Dollars Fast!

Ways to Save Money on a Tight Budget

I Need a Hobby!

I Need Money Desperately!

10 Ways to Improve Self Esteem

Having a well-developed self esteem is an important, though often overlooked, aspect of being totally – physically, mentally, spiritually – healthy. However, for those of us who have been constantly beaten down by others and by life in general, raising self esteem is easier said then done. The fundamental secret to all the ways to improve self esteem is to TAKE ACTION. Talk is cheap; the only way to get better, feel better, and be better is to change your patterns of activity – in short, your habits. So here are eight ways to increase self esteem that, while not painless, will certainly be effective:

  1. Recognize and eliminate low self esteem symptoms. The symptoms are many, but can include depression, sadness, weight gain or weight loss, trouble sleeping, lack of self-confidence, low performance at work or at school, withdrawing from social situations, and more. Everyone will have different responses to self-esteem, though. While some become more withdrawn, others lash out, becoming angry, impatient, and even violent. You need to diagnose yourself and understand your own response to your feelings. Keep a journal, diary, or log of your feelings for a week, and try to link your behaviors and emotions to your self-limiting beliefs and low self esteem patterns. Knowledge is half the battle.
  2. Based on your personal research, figure out what you want to change in your life. This can be simple or complex, and may involve only yourself or other people. Do you want to lose weight? Are you self conscious about your behavior or your looks? Do you feel aimless or without a mission? You need to figure out exactly what it is you want – no one size fits all in this case, and one piece of advice won’t fit all. Again, self-knowledge is the key. The best methods on how to build self confidence and self esteem will vary from person to person. (There are articles on this site that can help you do all these things.)
  3. Get a system to help you out. There are plenty of systems out there that will help you build self esteem; here’s one bestselling system from Joe Rubino.
  4. If your self esteem issues focus on yourself, make goals according to the changes you desire. If you want to lose weight, do research on weight loss and exercise. If you are self conscious about how you look, do what you can to improve or change it. If you feel aimless, get a career counselor, or figure out your passions.
  5. Many people can increase their self esteem by simply finding a new hobby or passion – too much time spent thinking about our own issues and insecurities only make them more central to our thinking and thus more significant. Finding some mission, or outward purpose, can go a long way to making you externally directed, and thus focused on something more than yourself. In other words, focusing less on yourself can, paradoxically, improve your self esteem.
  6. If your issues deal with other people, things can get more complicated, especially when relationships are involved. Obviously, communication is key. You may have to get a therapist or other third party to help you work out issues. You may also have to cut off the relationship in order to fully get healthy. Each situation is different, so at the very least talk with your friends and family to get the best solution for your context.
  7. If you have general social issues, like if you are shy around other people, then you have to make goals in order to improve this, somewhat related to the method outlined in Way #3. Social goals are in many ways no different than normal hobby goals and the like, so plan and craft your goals in the social realm too.
  8. Find a spiritual center if you don’t have one, or renew your commitment to spirituality. Spiritual in this sense doesn’t necessarily mean religious, so if you aren’t a believer you can still use this method. For you, spirituality can mean anything; but at heart it should emphasize everything outside of yourself, all to take the focus off yourself and give your life some purpose.
  9. To this end, help others. You may find the best way to help yourself is to focus on others. You may see that your problems aren’t truly as bad, or you may gain tools to help you in your own quest. Most of all, you’ll direct your attention to external things, in this case people in need, and eliminate the constant rumination that could be bringing you down.
  10. Don’t give up! Be persistent and never let negativity take you down for good.