I Have No Life! 16 Ways to Get a Life

There is perhaps one self-put down that can damage us more than we can know: “I have no life.” As soon as you utter those words, you in some sense resign yourself to that fate. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, and even when it has no real meaning, it takes on a life of its own. It’s too easy to use that as excuse to mope. But if you’re looking for true change, if you’re looking to ‘get a life,’ you need to do it systematically. Doing the things you always have done, or simply waiting around for ‘luck’ or ‘fortune’ or destiny or some such will just leave you with what you have had. Instead, take control of your life. Here are the steps, the foundation, the sixteen ways to get a life that is worth living FOR YOU, not for others. Follow some or all of these ways and you’ll be on a path towards happiness and self-fulfillment:

  1. First things first – we say “I have no friends and no life” without a thought as to what that means. What does it mean to say “I have no life”? Ultimately, that’s shorthand for something else, and that something else is going to differ from person to person. For some people, having a life will mean hanging out with tons of friends, going to parties, and enjoying fun social events and adventures. For others, however, having a life means having deep relationships, reflective moments, access to fun and enriching hobbies and education. For some, it could be a mixture of both general poles, from the extroverted to the introverted. It’s your job to figure out what ‘getting a life’ means before you can get one.
  2. To this end, get a piece of paper and sketch out your ideal life. Who do you know? What do you do every day? What are your goals? Who do you associate with? What are your aspirations? How do you feel? What do you have in terms of money and possessions? You need to be clear on what you want, not what society tells you.
  3. Look at your sketch and begin creating a plan to tackle all of those areas. You can generally divide them into four categories: physical, professional, social, and spiritual. Of course, you can come up with more categories.
  4. Next, create a hierarchy of those categories. For some, the social goals may be more important than physical; for others, spiritual goals take precedence over professional. Whatever your hierarchy, make sure you know what you want to focus on first.
  5. Only tackle one category at a time. Don’t be an ambitious failure – be a consistent and steady goal completer, even when those goals are incremental and small.
  6. In terms of the physical – work out, lose weight, eat right, and take care of your appearance and hygiene. These are the foundations of a life – they signal to others that you are part of the ‘gang’ in terms of what’s considered ‘normal.’ Don’t do things arbitrarily, of course – always understand the reasoning behind what you do, including your physical appearance and feelings.
  7. Next, the professional. Have ambition to do something. Find your dreams and work towards them. Whether that’s opening your own business, starting a great job, or meeting other professional goals, you need to have some external thing to set your mind to. If you need to go back to school, do it; quit your job, do it; take a risk, absolutely do it. This is the only life you live.
  8. Some problems are easier to solve than others – so it goes with the social category. We are wired to be social, and we just have to let that natural tendency out. If you say to yourself, “I have no social life,” then you simply have to go out more and make new friends. By “simply” we mean that the steps are relatively simple – it’s the repetition and commitment to find a good circle of friends that’s the hard part. Find people who share your interests, and hang out where they do. Clubs, organizations, sports teams, and the like are great places to start. Meeting friends through the recommendation of other friends is perhaps the best way. You can also try meeting friends online, as this has become popular recently.
  9. Get hobbies, or something else you can direct your attention to. I’ve written another article on how to find a hobby here. If video games and TV are your thing, that’s fine, but make sure you do something creative and active. You’ll find that your self-worth and self-esteem will improve when you become more externally directed.
  10. Improve your spiritual life if this component is important to you. Go to religious services, volunteer in organizations, and donate your time and talent. This will give you access to another level of power beyond yourself.
  11. Get professional help. You might be ill or depressed. Some problems cannot be handled by yourself, so you might need a doctor or a therapist to help you out.
  12. Get a mentor, someone who understands who you are and what you need. This may be a family member, a friend, or a trusted advisor.
  13. Read self help and self improvement books to give you further ideas. There are literally thousands on the market, all tailored to different situations, so take some time – weeks, months, or even years – to really learn this field and understand how to improve yourself.
  14. Work to constantly improve yourself in every area. It’s all about constant progress and incremental improvement. If you start today, how great will you be in a year? Five years? Ten?
  15. Ultimately, you need to understand yourself and your interests and values. If you don’t, how will you know what will satisfy you in life?
  16. Don’t give up! This life is the only one you’ve got, so make the most of it!

Have any more ways? Leave them in the comments!

11 thoughts on “I Have No Life! 16 Ways to Get a Life”

  1. I ve found one tip only here”.”…….u know person with no life knows all that already…..
    But there re such big obstacles that it is very hard to overcome it ….like money,poor health…

  2. I dunno if I found this helpful or just an eye opener of how deep I am in the hole. I have no friends (Most of them were killed otheres moved away) no job, no girlfriend, stuck living with my skitzo in denial mother. Not really sad or depressed but I have thought of killing myself just to save time. sit around and get old and say fuck it I lived long enough.

  3. lol, Chris, you are a funny guy, “I dunno if I found this helpful or just an eye opener of how deep I am in the hole”

    I came onto this site cause my wife is mad that I can’t find a job and it’s been 2 months since I’ve been unemployed.

  4. Your list seems smart. But it don’t help me at all. The list you give tried that, did that, done that. At 49 years old, a hard working caring man. Working 26 years straight, nights and weekends. No vacation since I was 15. Sure a simple family reunion here and there.

    Since I was 16 I have been working. I worked part time till I graduated high school. Then full time. Means I have been working 33 years. Never had any money only paying bills. I have not one friend not one. I have sister next door, we have lunch once a month. She pays for it. Back to job mess.

    I have been broke all my life so broke you have no idea. I work hard for little pay. From 2000 to 2009 I work 2 full time jobs. It almost killed me. An still had no money. With no money! I could not even date a girl. How can you when you are broke. So that being the case. I am a 49 year old total virgin. I have never really even known a girl. When you spend your whole life never to had a kiss or a hug. It really take a toll on ones life.

    I hate to leave work, even cry at times on the way home. Cause I know it the same thing shower and eat. Time for remote control TV then bed. You might say seek out a church. Even the thought of that brings tears to my eyes. Cause I know that I would be happy during church, but I would cry there as well. Cause I see other people so happy and at the end of the church service we must go home. We below about going home!

    I have work so many years. An the worse part I have retirement. I am so upset I have no retirement. As I start to see people retiring around me. As a man I cant help but feel with my two hands I must be able to fix this. But how can you fix a messed up life and a broken heart at 49. At this point I have loss the will to seek out life. I only go on in life, cause that what we do. I am a slave to life. Work, pay bills and die with no life.

    1. Nolifebob, I’m sorry you are having a hard time. Don’t give up. Tackle one thing at a time. Try to get out – a walk, a simple cup of coffee at a coffee shop. Definitely try church. There are groups that you can join there or simply talk to priest/pastor. The first step is reaching out. Ask for help. Things can get better. Believe in yourself. Good luck.

  5. to nolifebob,are you for real,sounds like self pity to me,but your honesty is courages. chin up buddy,and good luck.

  6. I can tell the author of this article has never actually “had no life” but it was good advice anyway. A for effort, lol. I think a better title for this article would be “Ways to improve your life if you already have a one but are in denial, and would like to upgrade from mediocre to outstanding.” Everyone who read this and felt bad because this article made them realize they have even less of a life than they thought… it’s okay. My very best advice is to make yourself do things you are uncomfortable doing. Stop feeling like you can’t, stop feeling inferior or intimidated, and stop waiting around for something to happen to make the change when you are capable of doing it yourself. Be resilient to failures, and stay persistent.

    As someone who actually has no life, I know this is much easier said than done. But it’s what we should do… & maybe one day I will take the initiative.

  7. Totally not helpful. The list of “what i want my life to be” is not attainable at my age, with no job, no car and no skills…it would take me another 10yrs of the “step at a time”approach just to get halfway there, and I can’t get skills without money to pay for books and the part financial doesn’t pay of tuition. Since I’ve been looking for work for 2yrs…I don’t see myself having a life before I die.

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