If you are very overweight or obese, your body is crying out for help. It’s systems are overtaxed by the extra weight, and every part of your body is suffering, from the circulatory system to your brain and everything in between. Thus, losing that weight, even if you lost only a decent sized chunk of it, would do wonders for your health. You’d reduce your health risks and feel much better about yourself, inside and out. However, losing this much weight is a great challenge, one that you can meet as long as you have the three Ps – a plan, practices, and persistance. To help get you started on your quest, here are sixteen ways to reshape your body and, as a result, reshape your life:
- First, you need to be clear on how many pounds you have to lose. You should then write down your goal in a book; let’s say, for the sake of this article, that you’re looking to drop 100 pounds. Then, write down on paper, “I need to lose 100 pounds.” Do this every day when you wake up in the morning; this will get you focused on your goal throughout the day.
- Next, you need to set your time frame. How long do you have to lose the weight? For instance, if you have a wedding in a year to attend, you can set a reasonable goal to that point. In general, longer is better; if you want to know how to lose 100 pounds in 6 months, you’ll have to go to more extremes than if you have a year. Losing 100 pounds in a week, futher, is impossible. In general, it’s better to set longer term goals, goals that you can maintain over your lifetime.
- Next, figure out the first P – the plan. You’ll need to be as specific as possible with your diet and exercise regime. If you settle on vague goals, you will almost definitely not succeed.
- For your diet, for example, figure out how many calories you’re going to shoot for in a day. Figure out how many meals you’re going to eat (the more, the better, say around 5 to 6) and then schedule in when you will eat them. For instance, you can eat a sound breakfast when you wake up, a midmorning snack, lunch, an afternoon snack, dinner, and then an evening snack. This would be the perfect balance to get you through your day.
- Next, figure out the foods you’ll be eating. Though you are eating 6 meals, they’re more like 6 snacks. You’re going to have to get used to smaller portions, ones that leave you satisfied, not “full.” You should never get too hungry or too full; both are signs that something has gone wrong.
- The next step in how to lose 100 pounds is to plan out your exercise regime. Make sure you schedule out the EXACT times and days that you work out, and the particular workouts that you do. These workouts don’t have to be long and intense at first – break yourself in, especially if you’ve been sedentary for a while. As you get going, you can then increase the intensity and the duration. In general, however, more intense, shorter workouts are more effective than long, rambling ones any day.
- Cardio should be the base of your workouts – treadmills, bikes, skating, sports, etc. You should also include plenty of weight training to keep your muscles strong, and add flexibility to help prevent injury. You may also like Yoga, Pilates, or any other class. Whatever you enjoy and whatever keeps you motivated is what you should do.
- After planning, your next P is “practices.” What this means, simply, is building habits, routines, and ‘rituals’ into your daily life to keep you going. We all have limited willpower, so you’ll need to make things automatic, like habits, if you ever want to make them stick. Make sure to do the same things day in, day out, in order to get this habit entrenched in your brain.
- The third P is persistence. You’ll have bad days, days where you want to quit, and days where the cravings and laziness are overwhelming. Even if you slip one day or even one week, don’t give up! Keep moving forward, one day at at time.
- Keep records of your progress so that you can see how well you’re doing through the program. The more you monitor your progress, the more you’ll be motivated to keep going. Plus, you’ll also know if your weight loss program is working. Don’t get too obssessed with stats, of course.
- Don’t make your life about deprivation – have your favorite treats every once in a while, making sure to keep the serving sizes modest, of course.
- A cheat day every once in a while isn’t bad either – it can restart your metabolism which may be slowing down if you aren’t eating enough.
- To that end, don’t starve yourself! This will only set you back and make you miserable. Make sure you eat plenty of food, but enough so that you’re satisifed but below your caloric requirements for the day.
- Don’t neglect eating healthy. Make sure to eat a balanced diet with the nutrients your body needs to flourish.
- Get plenty of rest – you’ll lose weight while you’re sleeping, and you’ll rest up from your exercise program.
- Don’t lose weight too fast. During the first two weeks you will lose a ton of water weight, so don’t be alarmed to see huge weight losses. However, in later weeks you don’t want to lose weight too fast. What ‘too fast’ means will depend on each person and on your starting weight. For this reason, it’s good to have a doctor monitor your progress, especially when you have to lose a huge amount of weight like this.
Any more ways? Leave them in the comments!
Hobbies offer you many benefits: they are fun and a great way to pass the time, they can raise your self esteem, and they can teach you new skills that help you grow and prosper. So stop saying, “I need a hobby,” and go out there and find one! It can be hard to find that new activity, though, especially if you don’t know how to find a hobby. So, here are thirty-five (and growing!) ways to find that new passion that will give your life meaning and help you build a deeper and more fulfilling life. I’ve divided them into rough categories based on general interests. In addition, I’ve also included some resources (links) to get you started in that hobby direction if you really are interested in that area. Enjoy!
- One general note before we start: Stick with your hobby once you find it! Granted, you may have to bounce around a bit, experimenting with different ideas, until you find the hobby just for you. But don’t be a dilettant, as you’ll spread yourself too thin. While there is something to be said about being a Renaissance man or woman, you also need to focus on one to three hobbies so that you can improve your skills and get deep into a discipline. Don’t stress about finding the “perfect” hobby “meant” for you – just find ones that you enjoy!
Making Money Hobbies
- Even though money making is often thought of drudgery, you can also make it into a hobby if you approach it right. For instance, it’s possible to learn ways to make money online, even ways to build an online business, all from the “comfort” of your computer chair.
- Want to learn how to trade the stock market? This is a great way not only to invest money and get good returns but even to score big with penny stocks.
- Do surveys, contests, and programs to get free stuff. This can be a great way to get some extra gear while learning new skills, all in your spare time.
- Everyone loves shopping, so why don’t you go to a mall or your favorite store and see what you find?
- Who doesn’t love food? Expand your culinary horizons by learning how to cook or increase your cooking knowledge. You can also improve your tasting abilities with fine cuisines and wine.
- Along those lines, how about exploring local restaurants? Learn about all the food out there that the world has to offer.
- If you already watch movies or TV, why don’t you try expanding your horizons a bit? Try making this activity into a full blown hobby by making it more focused – for instance, watch all the movies of a particular director, or even a single genre, and learn everything you can about the films and TV you pick.
- How about trying collecting? There are many things to collect, and you don’t necessarily have to spend money to do this. From stamps to swords and books and cards, what you collect is only limited by your imagination.
- Care for a little adventure? Try roleplaying games or video games. Expand beyond your usual tastes if you already do this, and consider thinking and working harder when it comes to developing your knowledge.
- Play new games, like chess, and try to master them. Join competitions to test your new skills.
- Enjoy the great outdoors. Go biking, swimming, or hiking.
- Check out local history or visit museums to learn about the world around you.
- A little more adventurous? How about sky diving or rock climbing?
Personal Development Hobbies
- Get an education. There are plenty of e-books and other products out there that can help you start up a new hobby. Visit Amazon.com for some leads. Go there and browse the categories that look interesting to you; then, see what the top products are in that category. This will help you brainstorm some things to try or products to purchase that can help you find a great way to pass the time.
- Some hobbies offer you benefits beyond the hobby itself. One great class of hobbies to take up is fitness and sports. Join a gym, lift weights, or take a fitness class. Start playing pickup sports or join a league. Or just mess around on the court, field, or ice for fun. You can improve your health, make friends, and have fun at the same time. You can also try to follow a new sport – hockey, baseball, football, or whatever – and try to learn everything you can about it.
- How about karate, wrestling, boxing, MMA, or some other martial art? You’ll gain confidence, strength, and fitness while also learning a discipline that can keep you focused.
- Learn a foreign language – French, Spanish, German, Chinese, or any other one that you enjoy and might find useful in the future.
- With the ease of access to technology and knowledge, science is within nearly anyone’s reach – from natural history to biology and astronomy to chemistry, you can make scientific discoveries in your own home with diligence and the right approach.
- Try learning more about computers, programming, and building websites. Or you can start a new blog on any topic you’d like. This is a great way to create new skills that may be useful for careers down the line.
- Develop your spiritual side – learn about your religion or take up a new one.
Reading, Writing, and the Arts
- Reading is a classic stand-by. You can read fiction, non-fiction, or both. Join a book club or discussion group to get the most out of your reading.
- If you like reading, how about giving writing a chance? There are many genres to try, from fiction and non-fiction to plays, screenplays, poetry, and more. You could also write for websites.
- The arts are also a great discipline to try. From painting and sculpting to drawing and filmmaking, you’ll never run out of possibility and room for growth with this hobby.
- How about expanding your musical horizons? Look for different ands and genres of music. If you really want to be adventurous, try writing your own music. Or you could pick up a new instrument – singing, piano, guitar, violin, oboe – whatever instrument you like and that fits in your budget.
- Magic tricks and other performing arts – comedy, improv, dance, and the like – are all good hobbies to pick up – as long as you don’t mind being on stage or displaying your talents in front of people.
- How about rearing life? Enjoying new pets or raising plants (gardening) can be a great way to direct your attention elsewhere.
- Volunteer for causes and make donating your time a hobby – you’ll help lots of people in the process and you’ll gain new skills to boot.
- How about traveling around the world? If you don’t have the taste for that, you might be able to find great places to visit close to home.
- Enough with the specific ideas. Here are some general tips – see what your friends and family are doing and join them. You could also ask them for the things they like to do and try those hobbies out for a few days. It’s a great way to spend time with your friends and family while also learning new hobbies.
- If there’s a hot new activity out there, give it a try. You can meet lots of new people this way, especially if it’s a group activity.
- What limitations do you have – health, time, and budget? This may limit or expand your possible hobby choices.
- Take an online quiz or test that will evaluate your interests and give you more tailored suggestions for hobby possibilities.
- Finally, visit hobby shops for more ideas – they’ll have products that can get you started in a myriad of domains.
- To conclude: This is a small sample of the things you could do – just get out there and explore the world and what it has to offer!
Got any more ways? Leave them in the comments!
Over time, teeth begin to lose thair natural white color. Bad habits, bad food and drink, and simple age can all conspire to mar your otherwise pearly whites. Recently, teeth whitening has gained in popularity as people have artificially reversed this process.
If you want to whiten your teeth, you probably know the standard options: go to the dentist and get the work done professionally, or use nasty home products that are no fun to work with, especially if you have sensitive teeth. If you are tired of these two options, or if you don’t have the budget for them, never fear – here are twelve natural ways to whiten teeth that won’t harm your smile nor lighten your wallet.
Note that you can apply these ways to a single tooth or to all your teeth, depending on your particular needs.
- You need to know what kind of stains your dealing with. Stains on the surface of the tooth – extrinsic stains – are caused by foods, drinks, and other factors. Since these are usually confined to the surface, they can usually be removed with the constant application of a natural way to whiten teeth. However, intrinsic stains – those that stem from medical issues – may not repond to this treatment. They will need professional help from a dentist, who may use techniques like laser teeth whitening.
- Probably the best way to whiten teeth naturally is to simply brush and floss regularly. Use toothpaste that claims to ‘whiten’ the teeth and brush at least once in the morning and once in the evening. Floss during these times as well. By doing this, you’ll set a nice foundation for oral health, one that will help bring out the natural white color of your teeth. Easy!
- Take some baking soda and brush it into your teeth. Rinse it off. The baking soda will help remove stains from coffee, tea, red wine, and aging that make your teeth every color in the rainbow except for white. This is like what you get at the dentist’s office, but if you know how to apply it yourself, you can get this treatment any time.
- Mix a little hydrogen peroxide with equal parts water and rinse with it. Do this at least once a day. This powerful chemical will help whiten your teeth while also killing bacteria that are the cause of many dental health issues. You can also try mixing in a little Listerine to improve the taste and kill more bacteria.
- How about the best of both worlds – mix both peroxide and baking soda to form a toothpaste. Only use this once in a while, though – it’s so powerful that it can remove both stains and tooth enamel fast. Keep it as the ‘big gun’ in your teeth whitenting arsenal.
- Try mixing lemon juice and baking soda. Also use this one only rarely, as the acidity of the lemon juice can hurt your teeth if applied too often.
- Combine a strawberry and baking soda to form a very fruity toothpaste. Apply it to your teeth, let it sit for a few minutes, and then brush your teeth, removing all traces of the berry.
- Some foods can also help you keep your teeth whitened. For instance, eating an apple after a meal is a great way to cleanse your teeth if you don’t have the chance to immediately brush.
- There is also plenty of tooth whitening gum products out there that claim to help whiten teeth. Whether or not these actually work isn’t clear, but it can’t hurt to chew a piece or two after you eat a meal if you can’t brush.
- Make lifestyle changes. If there are any things you do regularly – like drink coffee or smoke – that contribute to the stains, try to avoid them as much as possible. In addition, eat a healthy diet with fruits and vegetables to give your body and teeth the nutrients they need to be as healthy as can be.
- Before trying any of these methods, do your research to find the risks and benefits of each. For some, leaving them on too long or applying them incorrectly can cause serious and long term damage to your teeth. Always check with a dentist or other professional before attempting these ways.
- Of course, you could always try those home products like strips and gels that purport to whiten your teeth. Before using any of these products, check with your dentist and find reviews online to make sure the product is both safe and effective.
There is perhaps one self-put down that can damage us more than we can know: “I have no life.” As soon as you utter those words, you in some sense resign yourself to that fate. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, and even when it has no real meaning, it takes on a life of its own. It’s too easy to use that as excuse to mope. But if you’re looking for true change, if you’re looking to ‘get a life,’ you need to do it systematically. Doing the things you always have done, or simply waiting around for ‘luck’ or ‘fortune’ or destiny or some such will just leave you with what you have had. Instead, take control of your life. Here are the steps, the foundation, the sixteen ways to get a life that is worth living FOR YOU, not for others. Follow some or all of these ways and you’ll be on a path towards happiness and self-fulfillment:
- First things first – we say “I have no friends and no life” without a thought as to what that means. What does it mean to say “I have no life”? Ultimately, that’s shorthand for something else, and that something else is going to differ from person to person. For some people, having a life will mean hanging out with tons of friends, going to parties, and enjoying fun social events and adventures. For others, however, having a life means having deep relationships, reflective moments, access to fun and enriching hobbies and education. For some, it could be a mixture of both general poles, from the extroverted to the introverted. It’s your job to figure out what ‘getting a life’ means before you can get one.
- To this end, get a piece of paper and sketch out your ideal life. Who do you know? What do you do every day? What are your goals? Who do you associate with? What are your aspirations? How do you feel? What do you have in terms of money and possessions? You need to be clear on what you want, not what society tells you.
- Look at your sketch and begin creating a plan to tackle all of those areas. You can generally divide them into four categories: physical, professional, social, and spiritual. Of course, you can come up with more categories.
- Next, create a hierarchy of those categories. For some, the social goals may be more important than physical; for others, spiritual goals take precedence over professional. Whatever your hierarchy, make sure you know what you want to focus on first.
- Only tackle one category at a time. Don’t be an ambitious failure – be a consistent and steady goal completer, even when those goals are incremental and small.
- In terms of the physical – work out, lose weight, eat right, and take care of your appearance and hygiene. These are the foundations of a life – they signal to others that you are part of the ‘gang’ in terms of what’s considered ‘normal.’ Don’t do things arbitrarily, of course – always understand the reasoning behind what you do, including your physical appearance and feelings.
- Next, the professional. Have ambition to do something. Find your dreams and work towards them. Whether that’s opening your own business, starting a great job, or meeting other professional goals, you need to have some external thing to set your mind to. If you need to go back to school, do it; quit your job, do it; take a risk, absolutely do it. This is the only life you live.
- Some problems are easier to solve than others – so it goes with the social category. We are wired to be social, and we just have to let that natural tendency out. If you say to yourself, “I have no social life,” then you simply have to go out more and make new friends. By “simply” we mean that the steps are relatively simple – it’s the repetition and commitment to find a good circle of friends that’s the hard part. Find people who share your interests, and hang out where they do. Clubs, organizations, sports teams, and the like are great places to start. Meeting friends through the recommendation of other friends is perhaps the best way. You can also try meeting friends online, as this has become popular recently.
- Get hobbies, or something else you can direct your attention to. I’ve written another article on how to find a hobby here. If video games and TV are your thing, that’s fine, but make sure you do something creative and active. You’ll find that your self-worth and self-esteem will improve when you become more externally directed.
- Improve your spiritual life if this component is important to you. Go to religious services, volunteer in organizations, and donate your time and talent. This will give you access to another level of power beyond yourself.
- Get professional help. You might be ill or depressed. Some problems cannot be handled by yourself, so you might need a doctor or a therapist to help you out.
- Get a mentor, someone who understands who you are and what you need. This may be a family member, a friend, or a trusted advisor.
- Read self help and self improvement books to give you further ideas. There are literally thousands on the market, all tailored to different situations, so take some time – weeks, months, or even years – to really learn this field and understand how to improve yourself.
- Work to constantly improve yourself in every area. It’s all about constant progress and incremental improvement. If you start today, how great will you be in a year? Five years? Ten?
- Ultimately, you need to understand yourself and your interests and values. If you don’t, how will you know what will satisfy you in life?
- Don’t give up! This life is the only one you’ve got, so make the most of it!
Have any more ways? Leave them in the comments!
Acne sucks, there’s no doubt about it. It can damage our face, but more importantly it damages our self-esteem, self-confidence and self-image. There are plenty of ways to allegedly get rid of acne with medicine, antibiotics, and topical cream, but these may not work for some people, and others may experience nasty side effects that force them to discontinue treatment. Unfortunately, many people are not told how to get rid of acne naturally – they are just given a prescription and told to follow the directions. Wouldn’t it be better to have a natural, non-medication option available?
If you are one of these people who has problems with scientific medicine, or if you’d rather tackle this problem without resorting to medication, you’re in luck – there are some natural ways to get rid of acne that will not come with side effects and will overall be healthier for you and your skin. These methods also will often attack the underlying causes of acne production rather than simply attacking the outward symptoms. You’ll probably have to try a bunch of them to get rid of the pimples and blackheads that you hate, but you’ll eventually find something that works for your body chemistry and that ultimately treats the real causes within your individual system. Some of them will be long-term lifestyle changes that will not necessarily work fast, while others will be quick fixes to help you attack the acne problem now. To that end, make sure you combine both strategies to get the full effect. Here are sixteen ways to get rid of acne as well as some natural ways to get rid of acne scars as a bonus:
- Sometimes acne can be caused or made worse by a poor diet. One way to correct this is to eat plenty of fruits, vegetables, seeds, and nuts. This will ensure that your body is getting the nutrients it needs, and it may also help your body fight off acne. Certain vitamins and minerals help promote healthy skin, so you want to have plenty on your side. Plus, as an added bonus you’ll get all the health benefits of eating great, too, potentially helping you lose weight and feel better overall.
- Make sure you are using the right cleansers. One well regarded product is Burts Bees Natural Acne Solutions. Check it out on Amazon right now for a great method to cleanse your acne.
- Get an education. There is plenty of resources out there that can give you the info you need to blow your acne away. Knowledge is power!
- Keep your body hydrated. If your body dries out, it may be more likely to form acnes as dying skin clogs pores. Shoot for 8 to 10 cups of water a day to ensure that your body is adequately hydrated.
- Don’t put your hands on your face. When you touch your face, you transmit dirt and bacteria, which can only add to the problem. If you have to touch your face for some reason, be sure to wash your hands first.
- Natural skin care products may also be helpful, but be careful about using them without thought. Even so-called ‘natural’ products can contain chemicals that interact negatively with your skin chemistry. By all means, experiment with different products to see if any of them can help, but don’t buy into the hype of some of these products. Two products that you could try are Tea tree oil and neem soap. Both of these will treat acne and help heal damage from previous breakouts.
- Try some natural supplements to help invigorate your body with natural compounds that will improve your health. Some kinds of supplements that you could try include Manuka honey and maca.
- Wash your face. Do this at least twice a day, but not more than three or four. Use warm water, a mild cleanser or natural product, and a soft washcloth. Don’t wash or rub too vigorously, as you don’t want to totally strip the face of its natural oils. If you totally remove all the natural oils, the skin will overproduce them in order to compensate, and this can lead to even worse breakouts. Thus, do this just to remove dirt, oils, and bacteria that accumulate naturally throughout the day.
- Get plenty of exercise. Exercise is a panacea, or a cure-all, as you’ll see countless health benefits from doing it regularly. One of these benefits could be a natural way to get rid of acne. Sweating during exercise, for example, will help purge your pores of oil, bacteria, and grime, thus lowering your chances for a breakout. Note, however, that certain exercises may make acne worse or appear in different places. For example, heavy weight lifting in men, associated with increases in hormones like testosterone, may cause breakouts on the upper body. This is no excuse not to exercise, but rather just something to look out for.
- Lower your stress. Stress has been noted as a major cause of acne – it’s no coincidence that many teenagers and young adults break out during these times due to the stress increase in their lives. There are many ways to limit your stress, including relaxation and meditation techniques, getting enough sleep, and exercise.
- Be careful with tight fitting clothing or accessories. The constant contact between these items and your skin could promote acne breakouts. This is especially important when you are working out – wear loose fitting clothing when possible.
- Make sure you shower daily, especially after workouts. You want to get rid of the oils and dirt that your body accumulates through the day. Make sure to use natural skin care products as well, because regular soaps and cleansers may clog your pores more and lead to worse breakouts.
- Limit your consumption of sugars, fats, and oils, as these may all be connected to acne in many people. Caffeine also has been linked to acne, so limit your consumption of that compound as much as you can.
- Go outside and get fresh air and sun! If you stay inside all the time, you probably aren’t getting the natural light that your body craves. Always wear sunscreen, of course!
- Go swimming, either in a pool or salty ocean. Both of these will help cleanse your skin and your pores. Be careful, though, if your skin is sensitive to chemicals like chlorine.
- If you are looking for how to get rid of acne scars naturally, here are some ideas. There are many products you can apply to your face to help remove scars and tighten your skin, including lemon juice, honey, rosehip seed oil, and aloe vera. Microdermabrasion can also help, though this is not exactly natural, it is still natural enough to keep your skin looking great. I also recommend this e-book for more information on how to “erase” your acne scars.
“Why can’t I get a girlfriend?” If you think this question often, you are not alone. Many guys have struggled with getting a girlfriend and keeping one, regardless of the way they look, act, and compete in the world. If you’d like some reasons, be prepared to face harsh truth – it may not simply be that the world is ‘unfair,’ or that girls only go for bad boys. Instead, the bulk of the reasons may lie within you. Be ready to take an objective look at yourself. This doesn’t mean for you to tear yourself apart; instead, focus on constructive criticism and ways to improve yourself beyond your current status. Thus, here are seventeen potential reasons why you can’t get a girl, and the ways you can improve or reverse those trends to help guide you towards the success you want.
If you’d like to watch a video presentation that will give you the “7 Things You MUST Know Before You’ll Get Laid,” click here!
- Start with external appearances. Though this may be shallow, we all judge people’s books by their covers. This is true with women and men. Though looks may not be a dealbreaker for many women, there is a minimum line you must hit in order to be in the game. Are you overweight and out of shape? Do you not take care of your hygiene? Do you not care for your appearance? If you answer yes to any of these questions, you are sabotaging yourself before you even start. Luckily, these problems are relatively easy to solve – lose weight, work out, and take care of your appearance.
- How are your clothes? You don’t need to wear fancy and expensive gear every time you want to meet a woman. You do have to look presentable though – you may think your ratty jeans and t-shirts say something about your ‘unique’ and ‘independent’ outlook on life, but the only statement they make is a negative one. Develop a personal style and stick to it.
- Are you spending time with women? If you sit around your house all day, what do you expect? You’ll never meet a woman if you don’t interact with them. Luckily, there are plenty of places to do this. Start with places you yourself like to hang out. Finding a woman who enjoys the same hobbies and interests as you will really get the ball rolling rather than finding some random woman whom you know nothing about. If you’re having trouble meeting people in person, why not try online?
- Improve your attitude. If you sit around all day whining, “why can’t I find a girlfriend,” you’ve probably answered your question if you just look at your own behavior. Stop having a negative attitude, stop blaming the world for your problems, and take control of your own destiny. Have an internal locus of control, not an external locus of control.
- A lot of our success and failure in life is due to our attitudes and beliefs about ourselves and our abilities. If you constantly go around thinking, “I can’t get a girlfriend,” then you’re most likely not going to get one for the sole reason that you believe this. To change your outcomes, you need to change your beliefs. This is why having a strong inner game, or belief in yourself, is so important. You won’t go anywhere without this foundation, so repeat positive affirmations every day whenever you can to help reprogram your subconscious for success.
- Improve your behavior. Are you a loudmouth? Are you brash? Do you put people off? Are you arrogant or standoffish? Are you abusive in anyway? Be honest with yourself, and ask trusted friends and family for their honest opinions. Then change your behavior to be more caring, patient, humble, and empathetic.
- If you are shy, don’t see this as a negative thing. By being shy you are not hurting other people as you would be with the above ‘arrogance,’ but you are hurting yourself by taking you out of the game without even a fight. Learn ways to cope and break out of your shyness. You don’t have to be someone you’re not – you just need to give yourself opportunities to succeed without remaining constantly withdrawn.
- How are your listening and conversational skills? If you can’t hold an intelligent conversation, or, worse, you hold a conversation too well on your end, you may need to improve your skills. First and foremost, improve your listening skills. This will bring you 80% of the way in a conversation. The more the other person talks, the more she will like you, strangely enough.
- Don’t give up. There are plenty of fish in the sea, so don’t get hung up on one girl if things don’t work out the way you wanted them too. Keep persevering, keep your head held high, and be the best you can be. And don’t give up!
- Perhaps you’re boring. Be honest with yourself. Can you talk about interesting things? Can you connect with others? Or are you a shut-in? If you can find someone who shares your proclivities, great, but for most people it’s best if you try to expand your horizons a bit.
- Are you in touch with your emotions? If you can’t understand your own emotions, how will you understand hers?
- Do you know your goals for dating? If you don’t even know what you want in a woman or in your life, how will you ever find someone to share your journey with? Do some self assessment to figure out where you’ve been, where you are, and where you’re going.
- Are you confident? Girls love confidence in a man, so fake it till you make it. Improve your body language and voice tone. Be who you want to be in the way you carry yourself and interact with others.
- Do you have too much fun? Or do you not have enough? If you have no ambition, why would a quality woman want to spend time with you? And if you have too much, how will you be able to spend time with anyone, much less yourself? Find the perfect fun/work balance in your life and make sure one doesn’t totally dominate the other.
- Do you drink too much or have other bad habits that may be pushing women away? Resolve to improve them and fix what could be ailing you.
- Are you funny? Women love a good sense of humor. Work on your comedic skills and timing to increase your ‘wittiness’ and become a better conversationalist.
- Be yourself, but be your best self. In order to change, you need to accept yourself. This is paradoxical but true. You won’t know what you need to change without understanding ‘who you are.’ In the end, being ‘who you are’ isn’t something to be proud of. Instead, be the person you want to be IN SPITE of being ‘who you are.’
Have any more ways to improve and ideas on how to get a girlfriend? Leave them in the comments. And be sure to check out this video for more tips and secrets on how to get a girl.
Having a well-developed self esteem is an important, though often overlooked, aspect of being totally – physically, mentally, spiritually – healthy. However, for those of us who have been constantly beaten down by others and by life in general, raising self esteem is easier said then done. The fundamental secret to all the ways to improve self esteem is to TAKE ACTION. Talk is cheap; the only way to get better, feel better, and be better is to change your patterns of activity – in short, your habits. So here are eight ways to increase self esteem that, while not painless, will certainly be effective:
- Recognize and eliminate low self esteem symptoms. The symptoms are many, but can include depression, sadness, weight gain or weight loss, trouble sleeping, lack of self-confidence, low performance at work or at school, withdrawing from social situations, and more. Everyone will have different responses to self-esteem, though. While some become more withdrawn, others lash out, becoming angry, impatient, and even violent. You need to diagnose yourself and understand your own response to your feelings. Keep a journal, diary, or log of your feelings for a week, and try to link your behaviors and emotions to your self-limiting beliefs and low self esteem patterns. Knowledge is half the battle.
- Based on your personal research, figure out what you want to change in your life. This can be simple or complex, and may involve only yourself or other people. Do you want to lose weight? Are you self conscious about your behavior or your looks? Do you feel aimless or without a mission? You need to figure out exactly what it is you want – no one size fits all in this case, and one piece of advice won’t fit all. Again, self-knowledge is the key. The best methods on how to build self confidence and self esteem will vary from person to person. (There are articles on this site that can help you do all these things.)
- Get a system to help you out. There are plenty of systems out there that will help you build self esteem; here’s one bestselling system from Joe Rubino.
- If your self esteem issues focus on yourself, make goals according to the changes you desire. If you want to lose weight, do research on weight loss and exercise. If you are self conscious about how you look, do what you can to improve or change it. If you feel aimless, get a career counselor, or figure out your passions.
- Many people can increase their self esteem by simply finding a new hobby or passion – too much time spent thinking about our own issues and insecurities only make them more central to our thinking and thus more significant. Finding some mission, or outward purpose, can go a long way to making you externally directed, and thus focused on something more than yourself. In other words, focusing less on yourself can, paradoxically, improve your self esteem.
- If your issues deal with other people, things can get more complicated, especially when relationships are involved. Obviously, communication is key. You may have to get a therapist or other third party to help you work out issues. You may also have to cut off the relationship in order to fully get healthy. Each situation is different, so at the very least talk with your friends and family to get the best solution for your context.
- If you have general social issues, like if you are shy around other people, then you have to make goals in order to improve this, somewhat related to the method outlined in Way #3. Social goals are in many ways no different than normal hobby goals and the like, so plan and craft your goals in the social realm too.
- Find a spiritual center if you don’t have one, or renew your commitment to spirituality. Spiritual in this sense doesn’t necessarily mean religious, so if you aren’t a believer you can still use this method. For you, spirituality can mean anything; but at heart it should emphasize everything outside of yourself, all to take the focus off yourself and give your life some purpose.
- To this end, help others. You may find the best way to help yourself is to focus on others. You may see that your problems aren’t truly as bad, or you may gain tools to help you in your own quest. Most of all, you’ll direct your attention to external things, in this case people in need, and eliminate the constant rumination that could be bringing you down.
- Don’t give up! Be persistent and never let negativity take you down for good.
Many people enjoy drinking with friends or to relax after a long days work. But for others, drinking is more a nightmare than anything else. Alcoholism and its related diseases and accidents cause much misery in households across the United States and the world, and many people look for ways to stop drinking. Even if you are not an ‘alcoholic’ per se, and you just want to reduce what you see as a bad habit, these tips could be helpful for you as well. If your problem is severe, you will want to see a doctor for your problem, as he or she will direct you on eliminating your alcohol habit given your medical and psychological situation.
(Note: This advice is for entertainment purposes only. Consult with professionals before you act on any major changes in your diet or lifestyle.)
- The easy way to stop drinking is to reduce your intake over time. Note your daily intake of alcohol, or how much you drink at social events, and reduce the amount by one drink a day/session each week. You will thus habituate your body to this lower amount of alcohol, and psychologically the change will be easier to handle. Gradual reduction in your intake will help you stick to your new behavior. Total elimination of your alcohol habit is not necessarily required, depending on your addiction to it. Many studies have found that imbibing one drink a day (one beer or glass of wine) can yield health benefits.
- Get a system and get support. There’s plenty of information out there for people who need to stop drinking now. For instance, check out this program that can help you create an alcohol free social life.
- Write a journal or log of your drinking. Communicate to yourself (and others!) why you want to stop drinking. The way to stop drinking is to understand exactly why you want to change this behavior. You may find reasons through your own reflection or from the advice of friends and family. In addition, writing your goals down will help you follow through with them, especially if you rewrite them every day. Studies have shown that people who write their goals are much more likely to succeed than those who don’t.
- Watch how, when, where, and why you drink. Perhaps you drink too fast, and can’t keep track of how much you drink, or perhaps you only drink with friends, at bars, or when stressed out or sad. Being aware of the circumstances of your habit will help you identify the trigger to this behavior. Once you identify the trigger, reduce its prevalence or its impact on you. This is one particularly easy way to stop drinking, because if you eliminate the cause, you wipe out the effect.
- Drink something else instead of alcohol. Find another beverage, like soda, juice, water, or sports drinks, that you can drink in social environments or whenever the alcohol trigger fires. Soda is a particularly good choice – it’s tasty, fizzy, and fun. Be careful, however, that you don’t drink too much – you don’t want to gain weight and yet another addiction or problem!
- If you have to live someone who is a problem drinker or alcoholic, it can be incredibly difficult to keep harmony in the household. There’s plenty of support for you too; check out this site, for example, which gives advice tailored to people in your situation.
Know any ways to stop drinking alcohol? Leave them in the comments!